The sooner you realize that it is not in you and that you can not love on your own the easier your life will be. We are basically selfish and life is all about our own self. Everything revolves around “what is in it for me”. This begins the moment we are born and we really are not very happy about being in the real world until we are fed and cuddled and loved. Then, when circumstances change, we change again and we are not happy until we are fed, changed, cuddled and loved again and the cycle goes on and on. The older we get we try to disguise it but it is still in our heart that life is all about me.
that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, Ephesian 4:22
The only way we can love with an unselfish love is if we receive a new self which the Lord gives to us when we come to Him.
and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Ephesians 4:24
We become a new person in Christ and we are no longer the old self but a new person or a in other words, a new self.
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. II Corinthians 5:17
When we come to Jesus Christ and give Him our life then He gives Himself to us and takes our old self and gives us a new self. We then begin to live a life in Christ and through Christ. This new life is being transformed into the image of Christ, for He is God and the exact representation of who God is.
And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, Hebrews 1:3
When we come to Christ then we die to our old self with its selfish desires and we live for Christ through his power that works in us. We can not do His will but He can and wants to through us.
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Galatians 2:20
We can do nothing apart from Jesus Christ but in Him we can do all things.
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
There is nothing that is impossible once we give our life to Jesus Christ. No matter what kind of mess you are in or how messed up your life or marriage is, the Lord can restore you and your relationships. First, you must be restored to Him and then He restores you and your life and relationships. The way that you are restored to God is to come to Him through Jesus Christ and give Him everything…your life, your relationships, your sins, your dreams, your future and anything else that comes to your mind. Basically, you are giving Him control of everything and you are asking Him to take your life and do whatever He wants with you.
For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37
Our impossibilities are possible with God. If you believe that then give Him the things that you are struggling with and the matters that have defeated you. We can not be and do all that we need to be and do but God can and He will if we come to Him.
But He said, “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.” Luke 18:27
Even if you feel that your faith is little, still come to Him.
And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. Matthew 17:20
There once was a man who Jesus wanted to help. His prayer is a famous prayer that the Lord heard. If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart then you might want to pray it also.
Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24
Loving someone else with a Christlike, unselfish love is impossible for all of us but it is not impossible for Christ because that is the the love that He has for all of us. He will give you His love for others. It is possible to have a great marriage and a great life but it is only possible through Jesus Christ.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24
You will soar in life when Jesus Christ lives and loves through you in the power of His Spirit. The outcome will be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. These qualities will characterize your marriage and your other relationships.
For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. Galatians 5:14,15
If you choose not to give yourself to the Lord and allow Him to live through you then the other outcome will be destruction. You will be destroyed and you will bring destruction to your marriage.
If you are wise, you are wise for yourself,
And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12
Love is a choice and you must choose. If you choose the Lord and His ways then you will choose wisely and you will be blessed. To scoff means to ignore or turn your back to the truth and that is also a choice. You alone will bear it and the pain will be great.