Love is a choice and is not just a feeling. Feelings are based on emotions and emotions are fickle and can easily change with circumstances but love is a choice based on the character of the lover. A person is not ready for the responsibility of a love relationship between a man and a woman until their character is mature enough to make choices based on wisdom and not feelings.
Let our sons in their youth be as grown-up plants, Psalm 144:12a
A young man is not mature until they are as a grown up plant. Maturity should come to a young man in his youth. This is a picture of prosperity. When young men are not mature in their youth then there will be problems in the family and problems in the nation. A grown up plant is one that is strong.
The glory of young men is their strength, Proverbs 20:29
A young man must be strong. He must be strong not only physically but he must be strong spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. I Timothy 4:12
A young man must show himself to be an example of maturity. His speech must be gracious. His conduct must be above reproach. A young man must know how to love with the love of Christ. He must be strong in his faith and have a pure heart.
He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend. Proverbs 22:11
The evidence of a young man’s maturity will be seen in the people who are attracted to him as his friends. When a young lady is considering a relationship with a young man she should look to see who his friends are. A deceitful or charming young man will tell her what she wants to hear but a wise young lady will look at the fruit of his life rather than the fruit of his lips to determine if he is genuine and worthy of her.
And our daughters as corner pillars fashioned as for a palace; Psalm 144:12b
A young woman is not mature enough to be in a love relationship with a young man until she is as a corner pillar. A corner pillar must be able to stand alone. If a corner pillar is wobbly or weak then the entire building will fall. A corner pillar must be strong and not dependent on others for its strength.
so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Titus 2:4
A young woman’s main responsibility when the Lord gives her a family is to love her husband and to love her children. A young woman must have learned what it means to fear the Lord in order to fulfill her God given privilege and responsibility.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:28-30
If a young woman learns to fear the Lord and love Him then she will be ready for a love relationship. The fruit of her life will be such that her children will rise up and bless her and her husband will praise her.
Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. I Peter 3:3,4
She will focus more on her relationship with the Lord and the inner beauty that comes from that relationship rather than on the outward beauty that will fade away with time. She will still seek to be beautiful but the beauty that comes from within will outshine the beauty that is on the outside.
To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:8,9
The union of two mature people in marriage will be a blessing. They will be a blessing to each other, a blessing to their children and a blessing to the world. A great nation is made up of great families and great families are made up of great marriages and great marriages are made up of great Christians who are mature in their relationship with the Lord and mature as individuals.